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Not Having Been Hurt


Ah, it's really nice to cycle back in the cold night with other friends after another CUAMS "meeting" (we basically meet each other and air 6 episodes of anime back-to-back — 2 per series). And well, I was watching something I never considered before: 坂道のアポロン

And I really wonder... having been through 21 years, I've not been through much honestly (or that's what I assume). Naturally, what goes on in anime is exaggerated. But I don't think the feelings and the gravity of it all, to the character experiencing it at least, is at all exaggerated. Splitting up with your best friend over misunderstanding, which was not trivial at least, is something that may be observed with a yawn, but how many know what really happens inside both parties?

I'd say I'm really lucky to never had that problem so far. Sure, I've probably ditched one or two whom I found were not worthy to be friends. And I do mean ditch in an angry storm, and never looked back, even now. I'm glad I made the right choice. But they weren't really close to begin with (thankfully), and there wasn't much hurt in doing so. These are really trivial in the shadow of much bigger problems.

Other drama, like falling in and out of love, having lots of misunderstandings (as is normal when that happens) and false accusations... I think it may be somewhat common. Why else would different authors write the same things in books, TV, movies, etc.? I know that being in a relationship would definitely change you quite a bit, even if it's short or never did work out very well. Every time will be different, and you'll have to find your way around. It lets you understand other people better, and lets you empathise with those in similar situations. It also lets you get to know yourself better, what you'll feel, how you handle, and will handle, things.

What's it like to actually need to support your family, to have a terminally ill parent, sibling, or close relative? What's it like if your family was torn apart because of something? Things I never wish to experience, but yet carry with them very important and thus valuable lessons, personal development, and what we might term as maturity.

Without these hardships, there are two problems that face an individual I would think: 1. Not being able to handle a hardship that one might face in later life (and break down totally). 2. Not being able to "connect" with others.

Personally, I think not being able to handle true hardship is something not so likely to happen, because it's psychological, which means you do have the capacity to get over it, and as long as you don't lose all hope in your own life, you'll probably get over it eventually. What's more important is empathy, and that is what distinguishes a great friend from just any other friend. You can't learn empathy the way you learn academia, or the way you learn a new skill, it's not something to be practised, and not something to be taught. It's learned by experience.

And I keep getting the feeling that I'm lacking in just that...

07:08 07 Nov 2012
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