Lost Records

This whole month, and quite a bit of the previous, is totally lost, like the previous year, and the year before that. The run up to exams have always involved isolation and intense study, paying almost no heed to anything else that happens. It's not like I have a choice. Consequently, I never remember what happens during this time of year. It's almost non-existent, and no matter how much I try to recall, there's nothing that comes to mind.

Sure, I do remember what I've studied during this time, but not what I exactly did. I don't remember what times I woke up, whether I ate 2 or 3 meals that day, whether the weather was hot or cold. I don't even remember really taking the exam itself. It's a blur at best.

All I know is that these memories are lost because there were no anchor points. Nothing that I did that wasn't mundane out of studying. I lived in my head, and in my room only. My surroundings were static. I met almost no one, and talked to almost no one. That was it. Not that I had much of a choice.

This year is the same again, I know it is because I can't remember what I've really been doing since the end of term. Well, not like I really want to remember these gruelling times, but it feels like a part of my life (each year here) is just gone. Some kind of emptiness...

18:30 03 Apr 2015